I’m not sure where, how or why I’ve given off the impression that I am a robot and that my feelings don’t get hurt, but I need to rectify that. Immediately.
My feelings do get hurt, and I don’t like it one bit.
It is only something that I’ve come to recognize significantly while living in this city for the past decade. The influx of carelessness, and of last-minute declines (after verifying attendance) with weak excuses, of non-responses to texts or emails or calls – things I really never concerned myself with prior to 2003 because it very rarely happened to me, and I very rarely did it to others.
It is important to me to keep any promises that I make, or any commitments I take – even if I don’t feel like it, I will follow through because I. Said. I. Would. Should I be unsure of whether I can commit, I don’t. I’m a ‘maybe’ until I know for sure. My mother always emphasized how important it was to say what you mean and mean what you say. In other words, don’t say you’re going to do something and then don’t. It makes me lose faith in anything you have to say to me – especially anything that requires a commitment on your part.
So while my mother’s mantra has been my forte for as long as I can remember, I’m not sure it’s the vibration I’ve been sending out. As of late (or to be honest, prior to as of late), I’ve been attracting the least committed people experiences of my entire life! Which had me thinking…
Who have I NOT been committed to? Who have I blown off? Who have I told that I would do something and didn’t follow through? I’m like f***, no one!
Except me, of course.
So yes, some one. ME. I have a long list of commitments to myself that I have blown off for some one else, some thing else, some where else.
Entering a new decade of life – my most favorite decade – it is time for me to wholeheartedly release that which does not support me or my growth. It is time to acknowledge and respect and commit to the most important person in my life.