Month: September 2013

…yes, my feelings get hurt…too

I’m not sure where, how or why I’ve given off the impression that I am a robot and that my feelings don’t get hurt, but I need to rectify that. Immediately.

My feelings do get hurt, and I don’t like it one bit.

It is only something that I’ve come to recognize significantly while living in this city for the past decade. The influx of carelessness, and of last-minute declines (after verifying attendance) with weak excuses, of non-responses to texts or emails or calls – things I really never concerned myself with prior to 2003 because it very rarely happened to me, and I very rarely did it to others.

It is important to me to keep any promises that I make, or any commitments I take – even if I don’t feel like it, I will follow through because I. Said. I. Would.  Should I be unsure of whether I can commit, I don’t. I’m a ‘maybe’ until I know for sure.  My mother always emphasized how important it was to say what you mean and mean what you say. In other words, don’t say you’re going to do something and then don’t. It makes me lose faith in anything you have to say to me – especially anything that requires a commitment on your part.

So while my mother’s mantra has been my forte for as long as I can remember, I’m not sure it’s the vibration I’ve been sending out. As of late (or to be honest, prior to as of late), I’ve been attracting the least committed people experiences of my entire life!  Which had me thinking…

Who have I NOT been committed to? Who have I blown off? Who have I told that I would do something and didn’t follow through? I’m like f***, no one!

Except me, of course.

So yes, some one.  ME. I have a long list of commitments to myself that I have blown off for some one else, some thing else, some where else.

Entering a new decade of life – my most favorite decade – it is time for me to wholeheartedly release that which does not support me or my growth. It is time to acknowledge and respect and commit to the most important person in my life.

ME.

Life Revamp

I am revamping my life.

revamp [rēˈvamp/] – v.  – 1. give new and improved form, structure, or appearance to.

Yes, it’s about time. Not only am I leaving the big lights, camera, and action of the past ten years, but I’m moving towards a goal that I have held for a long time.

Not only am I working towards this goal, but I am working on how I think about this goal. I envision the people I wish to surround myself with, and how I wish to interact with them. I see how this goal continually expands as I dare achieve it.  I think about my life and how it is changing. I think about the lessons learned and the regrets averted.  I feel there are some things I let slip through the cracks over the years, but now I know better.  Yet, I also think about how good I feel in the process of this revamp.

More importantly, I recognize that I am actually revamping me.

Little things have shown up consistently in my life that confirm I’m moving in the best direction for me. I like to acknowledge them every chance I get. I high-five myself in my head.

I’m feeling good and I like it. As a matter of fact, it’s my most dominant intention that I feel good.

Did you know that it’s good to step out on a limb every once in a while? That’s where the fruit is.

Have a spectacular week, i miei amici!