Category: Gratitude

…yes, my feelings get hurt…too

I’m not sure where, how or why I’ve given off the impression that I am a robot and that my feelings don’t get hurt, but I need to rectify that. Immediately.

My feelings do get hurt, and I don’t like it one bit.

It is only something that I’ve come to recognize significantly while living in this city for the past decade. The influx of carelessness, and of last-minute declines (after verifying attendance) with weak excuses, of non-responses to texts or emails or calls – things I really never concerned myself with prior to 2003 because it very rarely happened to me, and I very rarely did it to others.

It is important to me to keep any promises that I make, or any commitments I take – even if I don’t feel like it, I will follow through because I. Said. I. Would.  Should I be unsure of whether I can commit, I don’t. I’m a ‘maybe’ until I know for sure.  My mother always emphasized how important it was to say what you mean and mean what you say. In other words, don’t say you’re going to do something and then don’t. It makes me lose faith in anything you have to say to me – especially anything that requires a commitment on your part.

So while my mother’s mantra has been my forte for as long as I can remember, I’m not sure it’s the vibration I’ve been sending out. As of late (or to be honest, prior to as of late), I’ve been attracting the least committed people experiences of my entire life!  Which had me thinking…

Who have I NOT been committed to? Who have I blown off? Who have I told that I would do something and didn’t follow through? I’m like f***, no one!

Except me, of course.

So yes, some one.  ME. I have a long list of commitments to myself that I have blown off for some one else, some thing else, some where else.

Entering a new decade of life – my most favorite decade – it is time for me to wholeheartedly release that which does not support me or my growth. It is time to acknowledge and respect and commit to the most important person in my life.

ME.

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…rest in love, Zig Ziglar

A few days ago, one of my mentors-in-my-head passed away at the young age of 86. One of my favorite quotes of his is this: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

You will be sorely missed Mr. Ziglar. Thank you for the time you shared with us.

…refocus…grounding…start again

Ah, self reflection – a thorn in my side sometimes…

I realize that I need to refocus because the purpose of this trip has been discarded like a used tissue on the ground.  Stop – I wanna get off!

The purpose of this trip is ME. Me, the last person I focus on. Me, the last person I give attention to.  Me, the first person who needs focusing on. Which is so funny, its like I’m working at several of my previous jobs – putting what I might require on the back burner, but making sure everyone else has everything they need. I even have tense shoulders. It’s also about recognizing the equality in relationships, whether I’m working for someone or not. Whether male or female, rich or poor, simple or complex.  Moving 6000 miles away has not resolved what on the surface I believed to be was a need to dissolve my association with my job field.  Maybe what I really needed was to revisit the core truth of this journey — I am the most important person in my life. Curling up in the warmth of this statement does not preclude the importance of others in my life. In reality, it produces more lush and well-balanced relationships. When I navigate away from this core truth, I find the world and my ‘self’ to be a truly hectic place.  For the record, I have detoured from my truth and am stuck in a pothole!

The world, in all its hectic glory, is reflecting back to me those difficulties that I have yet to figure out an apt response to.  They will continue to appear in one form or another until I find more conducive ways to resolve them. It is a struggle to admit this, but it is a path that I’ve created for myself and now I must continue on while I find an alternative route that’s peaceful, where my effortless responses are immediate and amicable (whether the situation is positive or negative), and where my stance is always undeniably and authentically me.

…on gratitude

Gratitude has been a ever-present aspect of my life. Some days I’m more grateful than others. I work on being grateful consistently, since it opens my world up in so many ways.

I was thinking about this when the Ryan Murphy/Kings of Leon twitter beef popped into my head. Ryan Murphy is co-creator of the television show Glee (I am a Gleek and proud!) and Kings of Leon are a rock group with some current mainstream hits. Supposedly Glee asked Kings for permission to use their music in the show and Kings immediately said no, supposedly because it was for a tv show, which to them is probably akin to having their music as background for a car commercial (yes, I’m looking at you, Black Keys, – just kidding, I still love you dearly). Somewhere along the line Ryan sent an insensitive tweet basically calling them out for refusing permission, which lead to the Kings replying with an equally insensitive tweet. Back and forth. According to the Kings, they had no idea about this show Glee, and really didn’t know how huge it had become.

However, I digress from the main point of this post. Gratitude. Instead of being lead by gratitude on the blessing of having a hit show, or having several hit songs, both parties’ egos sort of jumped in the fray and experienced a little beating. Ok, Kings of Leon don’t watch tv for a living, they practice and play and record music for a living. Not much for tv watching there.  But their music has a hit a note (pun intended) and is desired by many. Be grateful that people love your music, and be flattered that folks love it so much that they want to use it in a tv show.  Which might give it even more exposure — more exposure, more love for your music! And Ryan, you have a HIT show! I mean, how many shows currently on the air can say that? Maybe a handful? In the entire country. Blessings all around.

If Kings said no, so the heck what? There are so many more artists to chose from. Some that aren’t even well known but who have luscious material, ripe for Glee.  Now I enjoy a Kings song every now and again, but why choose to be offended? It’s not like you can’t ask again later. Puhlease.  Life is short and there is music aplenty.

Be grateful for your blessings. Be appreciative of all that you have. Choose not to entertain those that don’t fit into your vision. Stand your ground and realize that you have a

choice.